31 3 / 2014

I’ve always been scared to go to jail or prison, and after reading this article, I’m even more terrified than I was before. I also never realized all the in depth details of the system.
The idea that prison is “a trap for catching time” is an extremely scary idea. Because nothing happens and it’s just a never ending day of nothing is not something I ever want to encounter. My brother was in jail for years and I never realized how horrible the idea of time just stopping and you not being able to do anything to pass it. “As a smart man once wrote after being locked up, the thing about jail is that there are bars on the windows and they won’t let you out.” I couldn’t imagine being locked up in one space for so long; I would go stir crazy. The fact that “there are more black men in the grip of the criminal-justice system - in prison, on probation, or on parole - than were in slavery.” Also the fact that there is the same amount of people in solitary confinement as there is in a full house at Yankee stadium is unreal. And the thought of locking myself in my bathroom for ten years makes me feel claustrophobic just thinking about it. Also, all of the prisoners that get raped every year is terrifyingly high. I’m scared of the thought of prison, and rape is my biggest fear, so I can’t even imagine the two put together. It’s scary to think my brother could have possibly gone through that, or even worse, he could have put someone else through that.

24 3 / 2014

Reading this previous article was extremely difficult for me. It was hard to tell exactly where the author’s opinion was through out the article; she seemed mainly objective as she gave facts & ideas on both sides. But overall, I could barely read this article. My blood curdled when she spoke about how they go about their day in the clinic, between the protestors & the locked doors, & just how they do up to 24 abortions a week but in one day. The idea that it is all older women that try to run the debates & the organizations isn’t effective considering the fact that these women can’t even get pregnant anymore. I am 100% pro-choice is any case, whether it be rape, incest, the risk of the woman losing her life, or even just the fact that she doesn’t want a child. I feel as if every woman is entitled to her opinion on what happens to her body. While I am pro-choice, I do believe abortions in the second & third trimester should be illegal; anything before 13 weeks should be the woman’s choice.

09 3 / 2014

So this time this week, as I write my third blog post, I am proud to say that I have actually read the reading prior to writing this blog post.  But .. I am still not going to write about my reading.  It was long, and I hate to say it but boring as well, and I have a lot on my mind, so I’m going to get personal with my professor and, possibly, my class for a minute.

My life has never been an easy one.  My parents split apart when I was very young, and my father quickly remarried into a family that I easily consider blood.  I have two heroine addict siblings from that family.  My mother was a drug addict and an alcoholic.  Her issues forced me to move out and it caused a lot of strain in our relationship.  While my step mom was great, I still never opened up to her.  My dad has always been amazing, but he’s as hard as a rock and there’s no getting through to him.  My dad’s mother, my Badgie, is my best friend.  I have three sets of grandparents.  My mother was one of six.  I have 28 cousins and counting on my mom’s side of the family.  So even though through out my life, I’ve had all of these people, I have yet to find someone who I can talk to as easily as one should be able to talk to their mother.

It’s hard seeing my friends have good relationships with their parents.  I never got the chance to have a mother-daughter relationship with my mom, and my dad is too suborn, hard headed, and judgmental for me to ever open up to him.  My grandmother is an amazing woman, but there’s only so much you can tell your grandmother who has never been pulled over and who has never said the word ‘fuck’.

My mother was an amazing woman deep down.  She was louder than anyone you could ever know.  She had the greenest of green thumbs, and spending days out in the yard with her were always long but enjoyable.  She had long, straight blonde hair, and was as thin as a twig.  She could always cook a mean meal, even though majority of the time it was at 11PM on an elementary school night and she was half drunk.  Her taste was impeccable when it came to interior design; she loved anything Asian, copper, and black.  If she cared about you, she cared about you with her entire heart, and there wasn’t a thing she wouldn’t do for you, and I am blessed to have gotten that great quality from her.  But despite all of her great qualities, at the end of the day, my mother was an alcoholic and it ruined her and my life.  I lived in a one car garage with her off of my grandparents house until I was 12, and that was only because she had to go to jail and then rehab.  We never had any money because she spent it all on alcohol or drugs, so going to a upper class school district was hard because I never had any of the cool clothes or cool new toys people were playing with.  But I think the worst part of it all is that in my eighteen years that I was able to spend with my mother, she was either passed out from drinking, or we were fighting about her drinking.  Yes, she was my mother, and yes I miss her every single day, but to be honest with you, she didn’t know as much about me as she thought she did, and I didn’t know as much about my mother as I wished I did.  And it hurts me every single day.

So to whoever is reading this, Mr. Brophy, classmates, bloggers, parents, friends, girls, boys, whoever .. appreciate the time you have with your parents.  Grow bonds with them.  Never take their love and support for granted, because all they want is the very best for you in this world.  I wish every single day that my mom was alive for the pure reason of wanting to get to know her.  There will forever be a hole in my heart for the love I never received from her, but I wished I did.

~

WORDS OF WISDOM?  “A daughter without her mother is a woman broken. It is a loss that turns to arthritis and settles deep into her bones.” ― Kristin Hannah, Summer Island

Goodnight, English class. 

(729 Words.  10:51 PM.  March 9, 2014.)

05 3 / 2014

First off, there are two things I have to come clean about.

#1.) I kind of miss having class!  Never in a million years did I ever think I would ever say that, but it’s true.  I felt so out of whack not having my normal class schedule, so I have to say, I’m very excited to be having class tomorrow (well today, technically).

#2.) Because of our lack of class time lately, it has completely thrown me off and I have failed, yet again, to read our article for this blog post. BUT!  I’m pretty sure I got the gist of it from reading the first few paragraphs and briefly speaking about it in class.

So when we were last in class (what was it, a decade ago?), Brophy gave us a quick low down of what our article was about.  And when he told us that it was about the way animals are treating at the slaughterhouses and what not, the first thing that immediately came to my mind was my first time learning about this topic exactly.

Now, when I was in, ohhh .. let’s say seventh grade, I was obsessed with this guy named Christofer Drew Ingle, and he by himself created NeverShoutNever!  I was a faithful follower of his music so I was constantly checking his MySpace.  I swore I knew everything there was to know about him, until one day I viewed his profile and saw a link saying, “And you wonder why I’m a vegan!!!”  I took no hesitation to click the link and watch the fifteen minute long video, and my brain was officially scarred for the rest of my life.  This video consisted of actual (and illegal) footage of what goes on in slaughterhouses, and I honestly could not even come close to finishing the video.

I’m the type of girl where the way to my heart is through wings, burgers, and tacos.  But just the thought of how they get this delicious meat I consume on a daily basis is almost enough to make me stop eating it all together.  But the scary part is that it’s not even just meat; it’s milk from cows, eggs from chickens, and so on and so forth.  Overall, what goes on in order for us as consumers to get our food from animals is an abomination and we should be ashamed for it.

Now while I could probably never totally cut out meat (just because of the health issues I already have), I have to say that something needs to be done.  I did read the start of our article, and the author was mentioning something along the lines of Humane Society something-something, and how they are the ones who try to protect animals (and humans) of the vicious foul play that go on in slaughterhouses, but what I also read was that they rarely go into the depth of these facilities to actually make sure they’re totally 150% to the standards that they should be.  So yes, I do believe that animals are treated extremely poorly so we can have our food.  But no, I would not become a vegetarian because of it.  But without a doubt, more regulations and standards must be made in order to not only make the living conditions better for the animals, but also in order to make the food safer for us.

~

WORDS OF WISDOM?  “Fish are friends, not food.” – Finding Nemo

Goodnight, English class. 

(566 Words.  2:02 AM.  March 5, 2014.)

03 2 / 2014

Okay so honestly, I haven’t read the article yet.  Sorry, Brophy.  But I will! During my math class tomorrow .. even though I’m praying for a snow day.  But I doubt that will happen.  But I promise you that I am not spending two hours writing four pages of notes again, considering that was obviously not required for the last quiz.  But okay, let’s figuring out something else to write about ..

SO how about that Superbowl? HA HA just kidding, I’m not going to write about that either.  I really could care less, but I will admit that I was rooting for the Seahawks, mostly just because of their jersey colors :)

Wow .. I didn’t realize how difficult this would be.  I can usually blog with no problem.  But maybe that’s because I know my classmates won’t be reading it ..

I’m praying that none of you will.

Okay .. think, Shea. Think, think, think ..

One hour later.  Still nothing.

Why didn’t I just read the article?!

I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow?  But like I said, I’m really really praying for snow, even though I know that will never happen.  I have to work tomorrow night too, unfortunately.  It’s kind of ridiculous how much I work.  And I swear to goodness, tomorrow I’m going to raise hell when I walk into that place.  This is the third year in a row where my social security number is wrong on my taxes.  Like ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I’m committing social security fraud!  And I’ve gone to them about four thousand times about it to fix it, and they swear it is but it’s not.  So not only do I need to get corrected W-2’s from 2011 and 2012, but I’m going to have to file a billion extensions so I can get them done correctly, AKA no financial aid for Shea next semester.

Wait .. how did I get from grocery shopping to financial aid ..

330 words! YES!  I’m going to go read my article now, since we’re definitely going to have school tomorrow .. (crosses fingers)

~

WORDS OF WISDOM?  “An angry mind will lead to a bitter tongue, which will always lead to the best speech you will forever regret.”

Goodnight, English class.

(379 Words.  12:34 PM.  February, 3, 2014.)

28 1 / 2014

Hi, this is me .. in case anyone has no clue.

28 1 / 2014

For my English class, we have to blog every week. Now I’m all for the blogging part, but since he put on our directions sheet that a popular website to use is Tumblr ..

guess he didn’t know the first rule to Tumblr.

So I’m now officially using this blog for homework .. again, I apologize, Tumblr. Don’t shun me from my normal blog, please.